Felicia Carner
Published: April 30, 2009

DUBUQUE-Twenty-nine young children have gone through the home of licensed foster parent, Kim Small; nearly all have suffered from abuse, and the affects to their lives are apparent.

Small says that physical abuse is by far not the only mistreatment that wounds these children. Neglect, mental, and drug abuse all restrains a child from living a normal childhood.

“Her mother never physically hurt her, but she didn’t take care of her needs,” said Small.

Through the seven years of foster care the Small’s family of seven grew to a family of thirteen with the adoption of six of their previous foster children. Five of the six suffer from prior abuse.

“She was like a tin soldier,” this is the description Small gives to her first adoptive child seven days after she was born. This was the result of drug usage during pregnancy.

Small explains that the caressing given to a child at birth “helps them know that they are safe and okay.” She continues to comment that when the children are neglected of this care they take the guilt. Small says, “instead of feeling the care giver is bad they believe they are bad.”

One of Small’s biological daughters, Keturah Small, expresses that, “there are parts of them that will probably always be hurt.”

Although pain may never leave these innocent children, the Smalls believe their lives can be reshaped. Small comments that it’s no easy task, physically or emotionally. “Sometimes it’s a long time coming and you start to despair on whether they’ll ever make a connection with you.”

Kim Small draws attention to a task that is harder to overcome and it’s the emotional relationship between most parents and their children in situations of abuse, “Even though their parents have not kept them safe or been appropriate with them there is still something that makes them want to be with their parents.” And despite the harm these parents Small says, “They still worry about their children.”

Small says that for their family, “being able to give them opportunity to live in a different environment is the motive that makes their long run worth it.

Felicia Carner can be reached at felicia.carner@loras.edu

Katrina Berning
Published: May 9, 2008

DUBUQUE – Five years ago Karen Fox’s worst nightmare became a reality, but one little girl is helping the Fox family put the pieces back together.

“The first time that we met her incredibly sweet,” says Pat Birch, Karen’s mom.

Ella moved in with Karen Fox and her mother ten months ago.

“There was a bond right away, you could just feel it you know and she just like a light came on you know,” says Pat

A light shining on Karen’s very dark past. Rewind five years to February of 2003.

“That’s when he pulled up a knife and started attacking me,” says Karen Fox.

It was the darkest night of her life.

“I just was trying to fight him off and get him to stop,” says Karen.

Karen and her husband were separated it was his night with the kids they never came home; he had murdered the two of them and attempted to do the same to their mother.

“It didn’t hurt even though you know, I know I’m getting stabbed, you know cause you can feel the blood, you can smell it, and you can taste it but I didn’t really feel it,” says Karen.

The numbness continued and Karen found herself in an emotional black hole.

“To get up in the morning, to get out of bed, just ordinary things was such just a struggle for her,” says Pat.

But then a year and a half ago Karen got involved with the foster care program.

“It gave some sense as to what had happened to her, our family has always believed that if God shuts one door he opens another, and it was like this door opened for her and light shown on her and she came alive, completely alive again,” says Pat.

After reuniting eleven families hope came knocking on Karen’s door.

“Well there was always that hope you know that right from the beginning this one could be mine you know she could really be mine,” says Karen.

Mary Ella moved into the Fox’s home and found a place in their hearts.

“Karen just melted, just absolutely melted,” says Pat

On Friday little Ella became a part of her forever family.

She is finally legally my daughter when I go to the doctors I get to you know this is Mary Ella Fox,” says Karen.

A mom with a daughter to call her own, a little girl who finally has a home.

“She’s my source of light,” adds Karen.

Katrina Berning can be contacted at Katrina.Berning@lctv13.com